I know everyone must be dying to know how my mood has been lately, so I'm here to report that it has been as normal as normal can be. I'm feeling eerily centred, and calm lately; so much so that, even though I'm soaking all this normal right up, I'm a little suspicious at the same time.
I was half expecting the sleepless nights and constant caretaking of late to catch up with me, and send me for a header. Didn't happen.
And today has been one big ball of stressful situations, yet here I am near midnight, all serenity. I think I might be overtired. Maybe I'm 'over' everthing, to the point of being numbed out a bit.
I started work today. Had to leave my precious darlings with someone else all day. That was pretty darned hard. Work was hard. I think I sprained my brain. And my hip. Can you sprain a hip?
I started my period today. Does anyone else's body feels like it weighs about double, and like you're trying to move this mass of a double-weighing body through thick sludge? Just wondering. (Although I feel like quite a wimp compared to what some people have to endure each month, I know I've got it pretty easy).
My step-daughter (Brandy, 16) has come to stay for 10 days today. This was sprung on me at the last minute (like last night as I'm trying to organize the kids beach bags etc. for the sitter in the morning) , as my husband claims he 'hasn't had a chance' to discuss it with me.
The step-daughter and I? We do not get along. She has lived with us for the past 3 years until recently, and I was just getting used to her not being here. She is a big-time trigger for my mood shifts, and I am hoping I can use every trick in my bag to keep an emotional distance and not go there.
My son is mad at me. His father (my ex) and I were having a phone conversation about him in which we were fretting over the group of kids he is hanging out with lately, and in particular his girlfriend. Some things were said that we would have refrained from saying in his presence.
He was on the other extention listening to the whole thing.
I found out after I hung up, at which point we had a long discussion and he cried a lot. He was very hurt. He should not have been eavesdropping and he got a lecture on that. Waters were smoothed. Somewhat. I'm worried about him. 14 is scary.
Please forgive me if I don't come by your blog in the next few days. Or if I do, and not comment. I'm feeling a need to draw into myself a bit and maintain my centre.
Have I told you lately that I think you're wonderful and I'm glad we're bloggity friends? I do. And I am.
I think the Tylenol is finally starting to kick in.... nighty night.
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12 comments:
hi Coco,
sorry about your boy. that stuff is so hard...I know it was hard for me when I was 14....don't know how it feels for you though...I'm sorry it hurts for everyone.
14 is scary but remember most teenagers get through it just fine. It's normal for them to be a little out of control.
Hope you can "go inside" and maintain that center big time....
Will miss you but sure do understand needing to step back...I certainly do from time to time.
Coco--
I'm sorry you had that happen with your son. I remember 14, and it was pretty hard. The things we look at now and think are not a big deal are the whole world to them. I'm not looking forward to it in my own kids.
Hope your time "inside" is healing and that you continue dealing with all these stresses in a positive way. That's a whole lot to have dumped on you all at once!
Love and hugs,
Jazz
Dear Coco,
Despite what happened with your son, and despite that your step-daughter will be spending time with you and is a trigger, and despite everything else, isn't it a great sign that you're doing so well? Congrats! That's what healing is all about!
A "Bloggity" Friend (I love your new word)
Thanks for your comforting words dear Gianna, Jazz & Susan :)
Take care, Coco. Glad you're holding together so well. You're a good manager.
Dear Coco,
Of course I have been dying to know about your mood lately, but last night after reading I was just too tired and brain dead to comment, lol. Normal is GOOD! But I know what you mean about always looking over your shoulder and around the corner for the next mood strike!!
Hope work is going well. Soooo, hard to leave the babies, I know. The stepdaughter situation...oooh, so sorry to hear that. I had a stepson sprung on me for an entire summer when I was married. His dad worked long hours and was hardly ever home and I was left to deal with a boy I didn't know who was spoiled and always fought with my son. Not to mention that he ate me out of house and home! Life is what it is. Hang in there. You'll get through it one way or another ;-).
Amen to the period woes. What a great start to a new job, starting your period. :-P
I do not envy you going through the stages of rebellious teenager with ill-suited girlfriend woes. Those were the days. My son didn't date much until he was older, but I gave my parents hell with the losers I brought home, lol. I feel sorry about what they went through now.
Hey, please when you get the time, visit http://onebipolarlife.blogspot.com. I've moved into a new blog home that I hope will suit me better. I can't remember if you have a link to me, but if you do please update it. Thanks! I'll understand if you are not the regular visitor you used to be now that you are working "two" jobs. Take care! PR
Aw, Marja and Precious... I just love you guys. Thanks for the sweet compliment Marja, it really gave me a boost. And PR... of course I'll update your link! You're in my google reader, which I haven't been able to look at for a few days... but I have a few days off coming up! I miss my bloggity buddies! I will catch up with you all SOON!
i am here.
((HUGS)))
Thinking of you, and glad you are doing well!!
Hey Coco Loco,
I miss you out here in bloggerland. Hope all is well with the new job and the kids and the hubby and all that. Hope to catch you on here again soon. Take care! PR
Hey PR! Well, let's just say I'm here but hanging by a thread! Not emotionally, thank goodness, but time-wise! I'm about to eke out a post here in a minute. Thanks for checking in on me! I miss being here more too!!!!!
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