How I Spent My Saturday

I always think that other people lead a much more exciting life than I do. It's one of those things I always catch myself thinking, and then try to correct. As in 'I'm sure there's SOME poor souls out there with as boring a life as me'. Maybe it's all an illusion that everyone else is having a better time. I really don't DISLIKE the life I lead... I actually find it comforting and satisfying in many ways.

I suppose it's simply that I fear judgement. Like I SHOULD be doing this or that. Even without sick kids, I tend to minimize the things I do; I think it's a safety thing. Like trying to minimize the possibility that something will trigger a depression. I'm shaking that internal critic more and more, but really I'm still my own worst judge. And in small ways I think I'm actually trying to spread my wings a bit more, but I don't like to be pushed.

So how did I spend my Saturday? Doing the same few things over and over again! Even I was starting to numb out from the monotonous repitition. These things included: fetching drinks from the kitchen, fetching food from the kitchen, playing on the laptop, reading to Lucy and Drake, putting in kid's movies, fetching drinks from the kitchen, fetching food from the..... you get the idea. Poor guy is still in high fever mode, so it was just drinks for him. And of course he wants me to be physically close - like in the same room. Lucy is a bottomless pit today, and I seemed to be craving all kinds of bad things which I guiltily indulged in. I think it was the boredom.


I'm missing Tasha's Dance Recital today. I feel like such a horrible parent. Luckily her Dad and brother Jordy, and lots of other relatives are there to make her feel special. I'll get to see the DVD, but obviously it's not the same. I hope she forgives me some day. I did get to do her stage makeup for the rehearsals and studio pictures earlier this week, so at least I was a part of it somehow. I dislike seeing little girls in makeup, but I think it turned out ok... it's just a part of being a performer I guess. Too bad the camera and/or camera operator kind of sucks :s



So that was my day. Here's the sickey's visual update. Still very hot. Still very horizontal. But at least he has Teddy. Aka, Tedward. He said today, 'Mom, don't you feel sorry for me that I missed my field trip on Friday?' lol. Yes, indeed I do, as it was Beach Day. The whole school closes down and they spend the day at a local beach. Tasha got to go though. Hopefully she won't rub it in his face later on (in classic sibling rivalry style ;)

Sick Pictures

^ Day 0 - A trip to the 'playpark' makes a happy happy girl ^

^Day 1 - Starting to feel a bit 'yucky'- the nail picking increases^

^Day 2-8 - Miserable. Not even her beloved blue & yellow blanket ('bing') can bring comfort...^

^Day 9 - A bit perkier; out of jammies at least, and back to picking out her own interesting style combos^

^Cool^

^Cooler^

^Hot^

^Hotter^

To be continued....

Stay tuned for the next episode, in which the answer to the burning question: 'Will Drake regain his cool?' is reveiled. (and stop groaning, I've heard enough of that lately)

Sickness

Warning: This post may contain trace amounts of whine.

Reasons I Have Not Been Visiting Your Blog or I am exhausted because:

• i have been dealing with a sick 3 yo girl for 7 days.
• she has not eaten anything in seven days, and what she has drank (drinken? drunk?), has been syringed into her mouth (too painful to consume anything, gross virus). She has just started eating today. Crackers.
• i am tired of people telling me to 'be careful she doesn't get dehydrated'. We are in close contact with our GP who has seen her twice, and informed us at what point to take her to emerg for rehydrating.
• i am sleep deprived due to waking numerous times during the night to console said child when there is nothing in my power with which to console her.
• while she is now on the mend, i have been listening to temper tantrums pretty much non-stop except for 5-10 minute breaks, from the moment she woke up until now. As I speak she is screaming in my ear, and it is taking all my willpower to keep talking and not react in poor judgement.
• while I have tremendous compassion and sympathy for her plight, I am now, after 7 days, at the point of having tremendous compassion and sympathy for mine.
• i went to 8 hours of work orientation yesterday (lucy stayed home with daddy who she loves just as much as me, even when sick THANK GOODNESS), and came home so mentally exhausted due to information-overload, I thought my brain was going to buzz right out of my ears and eyes. It literally hurt.
• there has been a lot of required running around this week, as it is my 9yo daughter's 'crazy week' with Dance. The one where there's 2 days of dress rehearsals, one day of photo's, followed by 1 recital the first night, and 2 on the following day, Saturday. I haven't been able to take part in all this, but the mere coordinating of when I can, and when I can't, and who will get her here for this, and who will pick her up for that, and if they can possibly pick up my 14 yo son, who is at his friend's house across town, and oh shoot it's 3:20 and I have to put sick child in stroller and pick up 7 yo old from the bus stop as I don't have the car and.........
• although hubby helps out where he can, the reality is that he works full time, and we can all only be stretched so far and so thin.

On the brighter side....

• school is almost out, which will bring an end to the madness called June.
• my daughter is eating crackers!!
• i'm looking forward to watching the dance show on Saturday.
• my mood is stable
• the sun is shining!
• i'm excited about starting work in a few weeks

AND...

• the 39.5 fever my 7yo son Drake woke up with this morning? it's down a half degree. :)

Post #1

When I approach a child, he inspires in me two sentiments; tenderness for what he is, and respect for what he may become. ~ Louis Pasteur

Well, for all you fans of the "Smitholm" clan out there, this is your LUCKY day. A new blog just for you; keeping you abreast of our latest doings. Complete with the occasional photo, handy links, and cute quotes from my cute kids and others.

I've wanted to do this for a long time but was afraid of the whole privacy thing. I finally figured that it can be as private as I make it...

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My top 2 goals here are 1) to keep a record of things in our lives, as each week seems to be slipping by like it's a day, and each month like a mere week etc. And 2) to try and keep bring loved ones more 'into the loop' of our daily lives, as that whole time thing seems to be a factor here too. So bear with me as I try and figure this whole scene out... :) K