Sickness

Warning: This post may contain trace amounts of whine.

Reasons I Have Not Been Visiting Your Blog or I am exhausted because:

• i have been dealing with a sick 3 yo girl for 7 days.
• she has not eaten anything in seven days, and what she has drank (drinken? drunk?), has been syringed into her mouth (too painful to consume anything, gross virus). She has just started eating today. Crackers.
• i am tired of people telling me to 'be careful she doesn't get dehydrated'. We are in close contact with our GP who has seen her twice, and informed us at what point to take her to emerg for rehydrating.
• i am sleep deprived due to waking numerous times during the night to console said child when there is nothing in my power with which to console her.
• while she is now on the mend, i have been listening to temper tantrums pretty much non-stop except for 5-10 minute breaks, from the moment she woke up until now. As I speak she is screaming in my ear, and it is taking all my willpower to keep talking and not react in poor judgement.
• while I have tremendous compassion and sympathy for her plight, I am now, after 7 days, at the point of having tremendous compassion and sympathy for mine.
• i went to 8 hours of work orientation yesterday (lucy stayed home with daddy who she loves just as much as me, even when sick THANK GOODNESS), and came home so mentally exhausted due to information-overload, I thought my brain was going to buzz right out of my ears and eyes. It literally hurt.
• there has been a lot of required running around this week, as it is my 9yo daughter's 'crazy week' with Dance. The one where there's 2 days of dress rehearsals, one day of photo's, followed by 1 recital the first night, and 2 on the following day, Saturday. I haven't been able to take part in all this, but the mere coordinating of when I can, and when I can't, and who will get her here for this, and who will pick her up for that, and if they can possibly pick up my 14 yo son, who is at his friend's house across town, and oh shoot it's 3:20 and I have to put sick child in stroller and pick up 7 yo old from the bus stop as I don't have the car and.........
• although hubby helps out where he can, the reality is that he works full time, and we can all only be stretched so far and so thin.

On the brighter side....

• school is almost out, which will bring an end to the madness called June.
• my daughter is eating crackers!!
• i'm looking forward to watching the dance show on Saturday.
• my mood is stable
• the sun is shining!
• i'm excited about starting work in a few weeks

AND...

• the 39.5 fever my 7yo son Drake woke up with this morning? it's down a half degree. :)

hypomania coming in handy

I've been finding it hard to write lately. Not because I've been down, but because of lack of opportunity, coupled with unsureness on what to write and how to do it. Not that there isn't subject matter, but I'm not a natural writer, and wish I was. I adore the written word so much, that it's almost like blasphemy letting myself at a blank page. It's mediocre and I know it. I wish I didn't know it; ignorance is bliss. I guess I have some perfectionist tendencies that I need to tame. Because I do need to communicate (which is hard enough at best), and not doing something because you can't do it perfectly is really, really, silly. *sigh* Intellectually I do know this.

The lack of opportunity part goes like this: hubby has had pneumonia. A chest cold gone bad. Probably due to stress. It's been a very stressful past month for him, poor guy. As a result, for the past week he's been out of commission. Watching a lot of Seinfeld reruns.

So. I guess I'm realizing how much he really does help out around here. I've been running my tail off trying to keep up with the daily domestic demands (I love alliterations too, Susan!). It's like when husbands go away for a while, and the wife says 'gee, now I now what it would be like to be a single parent'. Yeah kind of like that. Only I know what it's like to be a single parent, and this isn't anywhere near as hard on many, many levels.

But still, time consuming and physically draining to wear the many hats required throughout the day to keep my 4 mop tops happy & healthy. Laundry anyone? And I swear keeping them fed is a full-time job in itself. And why didn't anyone tell me how much teenagers ask to be chauffeured around? And? Did no one inform my 3 year old that she is no longer 2, and that tantrums are so last year???? I'm tired. I need coffee. BUT! The good news? I've been successfully keeping hold of this hypomania. Except for a minor dip the day of, and the day after the Garage Sale. That was just too much stress right there. STRESS, I tell you. But I'm still hummin' so I'm very grateful. I can't imagine coping if I was anything but. Yes, actually I can. It would be called NOT coping. Don't care to recall what that's like at the moment, thanks.

And I must tell you that knowing you guys are all right here, living in my laptop is oh so comforting. Knowing I can steal a few minutes here and there to check up on you all and leave the odd comment - connecting - is becoming a really important part of my life. It's a lifeline of sorts. A real comfort. Thank you for being here!