Boost

The need for silence is gone, thanks for helping me regain my balance! Not sure what that was all about and haven't had a lot of time for reflection, so I'll have to put it to one side for now. I know I was furiously mad at myself, very agitated etc etc. It gets boring sometimes repeating the same old list of symptoms. I know that this morning and yesterday I have been very 'active' so not sure, but may be headed towards hypomania after this relatively long stretch of hypomania which then turned to baseline/normal for the last while.

I have a very strong suspicion that the support and kind words I recieve here are making a huge difference in heading off bad things. I know I didn't have enough support in my life before, due to shutting people out and basically emotionally cocooning. This is big for me, and I consider myself so, so lucky to have found all of you here.

Drake is still not able to go to school because of his mouth pain and fever. It's the Herpes Virus.. mouth version of course... which in it's initial outbreak in children can be absolutely horrendous, with sores all throughout the mouth, fever, vomiting. This is my third child now with this as Jord had it when he was the same age. And that's what Lucy just got over. I'm suspecting they picked it up from my Mom who get's the odd outbreak of cold sores so must be a carrier of the virus. Don't tell here though, she'd feel mortified that she was the root of such pain and suffering! ;) Must run & get more 'Boost' for the invalid.

Mom & Drake last Christmas

hypomania coming in handy

I've been finding it hard to write lately. Not because I've been down, but because of lack of opportunity, coupled with unsureness on what to write and how to do it. Not that there isn't subject matter, but I'm not a natural writer, and wish I was. I adore the written word so much, that it's almost like blasphemy letting myself at a blank page. It's mediocre and I know it. I wish I didn't know it; ignorance is bliss. I guess I have some perfectionist tendencies that I need to tame. Because I do need to communicate (which is hard enough at best), and not doing something because you can't do it perfectly is really, really, silly. *sigh* Intellectually I do know this.

The lack of opportunity part goes like this: hubby has had pneumonia. A chest cold gone bad. Probably due to stress. It's been a very stressful past month for him, poor guy. As a result, for the past week he's been out of commission. Watching a lot of Seinfeld reruns.

So. I guess I'm realizing how much he really does help out around here. I've been running my tail off trying to keep up with the daily domestic demands (I love alliterations too, Susan!). It's like when husbands go away for a while, and the wife says 'gee, now I now what it would be like to be a single parent'. Yeah kind of like that. Only I know what it's like to be a single parent, and this isn't anywhere near as hard on many, many levels.

But still, time consuming and physically draining to wear the many hats required throughout the day to keep my 4 mop tops happy & healthy. Laundry anyone? And I swear keeping them fed is a full-time job in itself. And why didn't anyone tell me how much teenagers ask to be chauffeured around? And? Did no one inform my 3 year old that she is no longer 2, and that tantrums are so last year???? I'm tired. I need coffee. BUT! The good news? I've been successfully keeping hold of this hypomania. Except for a minor dip the day of, and the day after the Garage Sale. That was just too much stress right there. STRESS, I tell you. But I'm still hummin' so I'm very grateful. I can't imagine coping if I was anything but. Yes, actually I can. It would be called NOT coping. Don't care to recall what that's like at the moment, thanks.

And I must tell you that knowing you guys are all right here, living in my laptop is oh so comforting. Knowing I can steal a few minutes here and there to check up on you all and leave the odd comment - connecting - is becoming a really important part of my life. It's a lifeline of sorts. A real comfort. Thank you for being here!