How I Spent My Saturday

I always think that other people lead a much more exciting life than I do. It's one of those things I always catch myself thinking, and then try to correct. As in 'I'm sure there's SOME poor souls out there with as boring a life as me'. Maybe it's all an illusion that everyone else is having a better time. I really don't DISLIKE the life I lead... I actually find it comforting and satisfying in many ways.

I suppose it's simply that I fear judgement. Like I SHOULD be doing this or that. Even without sick kids, I tend to minimize the things I do; I think it's a safety thing. Like trying to minimize the possibility that something will trigger a depression. I'm shaking that internal critic more and more, but really I'm still my own worst judge. And in small ways I think I'm actually trying to spread my wings a bit more, but I don't like to be pushed.

So how did I spend my Saturday? Doing the same few things over and over again! Even I was starting to numb out from the monotonous repitition. These things included: fetching drinks from the kitchen, fetching food from the kitchen, playing on the laptop, reading to Lucy and Drake, putting in kid's movies, fetching drinks from the kitchen, fetching food from the..... you get the idea. Poor guy is still in high fever mode, so it was just drinks for him. And of course he wants me to be physically close - like in the same room. Lucy is a bottomless pit today, and I seemed to be craving all kinds of bad things which I guiltily indulged in. I think it was the boredom.


I'm missing Tasha's Dance Recital today. I feel like such a horrible parent. Luckily her Dad and brother Jordy, and lots of other relatives are there to make her feel special. I'll get to see the DVD, but obviously it's not the same. I hope she forgives me some day. I did get to do her stage makeup for the rehearsals and studio pictures earlier this week, so at least I was a part of it somehow. I dislike seeing little girls in makeup, but I think it turned out ok... it's just a part of being a performer I guess. Too bad the camera and/or camera operator kind of sucks :s



So that was my day. Here's the sickey's visual update. Still very hot. Still very horizontal. But at least he has Teddy. Aka, Tedward. He said today, 'Mom, don't you feel sorry for me that I missed my field trip on Friday?' lol. Yes, indeed I do, as it was Beach Day. The whole school closes down and they spend the day at a local beach. Tasha got to go though. Hopefully she won't rub it in his face later on (in classic sibling rivalry style ;)