All Jabberwocky is gone.
Last night I had a splitting headache. Took some Robaxacet as my neck/shoulders/back seemed to be quite painful as well, and fell asleep on the couch. The headache nagged me all night in my dreams and was the first thing to wish me a good morning.
An hour LATE I might add... we all slept in. So... took more Robaxacet, this time with codeine in it, and started the morning routine of coffeemaking, vitamin/meds taking, lunch packing etc etc. Luckily it wasn't a work morning for me so I wasn't over the top panicked, although I don't think I would have been going to work feeling the way I felt, and I was too drugged-feeling to move too fast anyway. The kids were going to be late either way so no use getting bent out of shape. It hardly ever happens anyway that they're late.
Anyway, the drugs took care of my headache for the most part, although I've felt very dreamy all day and not really here. I thought it was the codeine, but I'm still very out to lunch. Quite melancholy and listless too, and feel like I'm on the verge of tears or anger most of the time. Haven't showered today or combed my hair except with my fingers...in fact I noticed this afternoon that my teeth felt gritty which means that I didn't even brush my teeth. Gross, I know. Sounds like another dip down. Talk about rapid cycling. I talk to God quite often and sometimes ask for repreive from this rollercoaster. I guess this must be part of His plan for something or other, and I trust in that and take comfort in His loving presence nonetheless. I wish I didn't feel so helpless and at the mercy of forces beyond my control, but I guess that's all part of the trusting.
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4 comments:
It is sometimes hard to trust that God is working it all out, but the Bible says that HE IS!!!
You may be down, but I hear optimism, trust and faith in your writing, and that is wonderful.
Remember that, whether you are high, low or somewhere in between, God will never leave you or forsake you. He's beside you every minute of every day.
HE LOVES YOU!! :)
Thanks so much Paula, your words are very comforting.
Gross, maybe, with the lack of teeth brushing and hair combing and showering, but I understand that routine more than I would care to admit. When you are down, you are down, period. Brushing your teeth is exhausting even and it won't help, so why do it.
My ONLY consolation on days like that or during weeks or months like that is that God does have a purpose for my life and that I must trust Him. Otherwise, I believe I would give up entirely.
P.S. Oops, I think my teeth are feeling a little hairy and gritty today, lol, and I'm not even depressed. The bad habits that depression gets us into, eh?
Thanks Crystal, you do understand, and that's comforting. Yes, I must keep believing that God is in control, has a plan, and loves me regardless of how I feel ;)
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